Author Andrea Miller–the founder and CEO of YourTango, the wildly popular website dedicated to love and relationships–shares the secret to happy, lasting love.
Radical Acceptance can greatly improve—and even transform—almost any relationship: with your spouse, children, parents, girlfriend/boyfriend, siblings, friends, colleagues, as well as, crucially, with yourself.
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What is Radical Acceptance ?
Loving your partner without judgment is the ultimate gift you can give them—and yourself.
Loving the lovable parts of your partner is easy. He’s funny, charming, smart, successful, and kind. He’s perfect. Except for when he is not. Like when he is late. Or short-tempered. Or impatient. Or lazy. Or he has just loaded the dishwasher incorrectly (again). Maybe he suddenly feels like the most frustrating person on the planet. Or maybe you’re simply not feeling heard or seen. Or loved enough.
It’s these proverbial unlovable parts that make loving all of him so tough. But imagine if you let go of your itch to fix, judge, improve, or control your partner. Imagine if you replaced judgment with compassion and empathy. Tremendous empowerment and liberation come from loving someone—and being loved—for who we really are. This is called Radical Acceptance. Whether you’re looking for Mr. Right or are already with him, this is your powerful five-step guide to attaining life’s ultimate prize: unconditional love.
Through Radical Acceptance, you’ll learn how to increase your emotional resilience, feel more confident, determine whether you’re settling, quiet those doubt-filled voices in your head, get out of that endless cycle of dead-end dates, reduce conflict, and build a deeply fulfilling, affirming relationship—all through highly actionable advice. Best of all, you will discover how amazing it feels to have your heart expanded by an abundance of love and compassion for your partner and yourself.
Featuring compelling stories from real-life couples and insights from the foremost thought-leaders and researchers in brain science, sexuality, psychotherapy, and neurobiology, Radical Acceptance illustrates that embracing your partner for exactly who they are will lead to a more harmonious relationship—and provides an unexpected path to your own personal transformation.
Advance Praise for Radical Acceptance
This bold, insightful book is the most unequivocal challenge to love unconditionally that we have ever read. Radical Acceptance is just what the world needs now. We highly recommend it!
Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD
Best-selling authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want
A warm, honest approach to prioritizing your partner and creating true happiness in your relationship–and in yourself. Andrea is like the friend everyone needs in not only the tough moments, but the good ones too. A compelling book.
John Gray, PhD
Best-selling author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Miller has written a fascinating, original, and highly courageous book on that issue dear to all of us—the eternal drive of partners to build and sustain a happy and fulfilling relationship. It’s full of poignant stories, smart advice, and good science. And it’s a great read.
Helen Fisher, PhD
Biological anthropologist, best-selling author of Why We Love
A wonderful new book. Relatable and emotional, Andrea Miller divulges her own and others’ marriage and dating stories that have benefited from learning how to practice Radical Acceptance.
Stan Tatkin, PsyD
MFT, clinician, teacher & author of Wired for Love
In this important book, Andrea Miller succeeds in making us feel like we are having the most life-changing talk with our BFF. Jam-packed with wisdom for the ages, it compassionately pushes us to reclaim more from ourselves and our relationships.
Pat Love, EdD
Therapist, best-selling author of The Truth About Love
By embracing the enlightening concept of Radical Acceptance, couples can far more easily make the leap from silent desperation to loving interconnection.
Ian Kerner, PhD
LMFT, best-selling author of She Comes First
Perhaps no one is better qualified than Andrea to simplify the secret to love and intimacy. She brings together the wisdom of YourTango’s amazing experts and the millions of visitors and their experiences. A beautiful work.
Chairman emeritus of the Interpublic Group
Andrea Miller brilliantly illuminates how the conflict between our expectations and the actual attributes of our partner can destroy relationships, while acceptance leads to trust and love.
Stephen W. Porges, PhD
Distinguished University Scientist, Indiana University, author of The Polyvagal Theory
Andrea Miller debunks many of the destructive myths that have arisen around “romance”. In their place she offers practical and sage advice on “love,” told in the context of real stories and the new science of relationships—all presented in a remarkably entertaining, enjoyable style.
Sue Carter, PhD
Director of the Kinsey Institute, Rudy Professor of Biology, Indiana University
Author of Radical Acceptance
Andrea Miller is the founder and CEO of YourTango, the leading online magazine dedicated to love and relationships. YourTango’s mission is to help women love better and connect more meaningfully as those are key ingredients to being happy and feeling a greater sense of belonging. YourTango has built a powerful platform where a community of readers, writers, brands, thought leaders, and the world’s leading relationship and mental health experts connect and engage where it matters most: the heart.
Andrea’s first book Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love debuts May 2, 2017 and will be published by the Atria Division of Simon & Schuster.
Andrea serves on the Board of Trustees of the New York Theatre Workshop. She has been awarded a black belt in Shotokan karate by the Japan Karate Association (JKA), is a licensed private pilot, loves to ski and has mastered doing yoga to episodes of Power Rangers. Andrea and her husband live with their two little boys in New York City.
Radical Acceptance Articles
Compelling advice, stories and thought-provoking perspectives on Andrea Miller’s Radical Acceptance, the fresh approach to finding love and making it last.
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